Valium Spray

Yep, you read that title right. Valium Spray. This idea first occurred to me in 1998 when I worked for a public relations firm. We'd have meetings with clients as well as staff departmental meetings where the excitement level was sometimes way too much. I kept thinking, if I could just spritz a little valium into the air ...  I even took a bottle of peach facial mist, made up my own label that read VALIUM SPRAY and as a tension breaker, I'd spray the room. Worked every time because everyone was too busy laughing to remember what they were all bunched up over.

I took Miles to the vet for his annual check-up and shots recently. This was hundreds of dollars worth of fun and the day started at 6:00 a.m. with me following him around the back yard with a ziploc baggie, begging for a fresh stool sample. He and Louie dashed back and forth across the yard, first greeting the neighbors' dogs on one side, then the other. He investigated every noise, every bird. I'm in my jammies and slippers with a sweater on, trailing back and forth, baggie in hand, mumbling and grumbling. The sun isn't up yet and I forgot to grab a flashlight so I'm hoping he doesn't stop in a dark corner where I can't see what he's doing. Of course, Louie obliges, but it's not Louie who's going to the vet. We did this several times over an hour, then when I went to get dressed, Milesyoulittlebastard immediately did his business. Thank heavens, Hubby had taken over baggie duty (doody duty?) for those few minutes.

Miles always has a little doggie nervous breakdown when it's vet time. It starts during the car ride on the way there, the hyperventilating and agitated twitching. I'd have given him a paper bag to breathe into, but his stool sample was in it and I don't think that would have been fun for anyone!

At the vet's, he wants up on my lap, he wants down on the floor, up down, up down, up down -- you get the idea. He's shaking and quaking and dancing and carrying on ...

When they start off by taking his temperature, he does that eye bulging thing a la the dog in Jim Carrey's movie "The Mask" ...

During this and the shots for rabies and bordatella and all the poking and prodding, I'm thinking wouldn't a little spritz of Valium Spray be just the thing for this tense moment? I could have used it myself when they gave me the total amount due at checkout.

They took him in the back and drew blood for his heartworm test and he came back with a very cool camouflage bandage wrapped around his leg. Hubby was calling him Rambo ...

Every time I send my Mom a picture of Miles, she says he looks like he has a lot to say. What do you suppose he's saying here ...